Self Love Isn’t Selfish & Why You Should Not Feel Guilty About It

My whole life, I have always been too kind to people who deliberately put me down. Continued to criticize me for who I was and how I should be a certain way, how they got offended when I refused to put up with their shit and how I would call them out on their bullshit. 

Have you ever been in a place, situation with people who would always invalidate your feelings? Tell you how you should behave or feel and continuously try to degrade your moral. I know it feels hurt, broken, and like nobody understands you, and we strive to live by How other people perceive our choices and reality. 

But you know one thing? The urge to get understood completely disappears when you know yourself. Because nobody is walking down in your shoes or living your reality, so their opinion doesn’t matter. 

The First Step to Self Love Is Setting Boundaries 

Boundaries are essential, and you should set them with your family members, friends or loved ones. They are more about how much leverage you are ready to give to others to interfere in your life. Because something your family loved ones or friends would try to control you and want you to act in a way or do things that they want. But by setting boundaries, you tell them what and what isn’t allowed in terms of behavior, actions or the degree of interference in your life. 

After You Set Boundaries, Some People Will Label You As Selfish 

It is completely okay, relax. This had happened with me when I stopped taking bullshit from others when you take a stand for yourself for the sake of your mental and emotional health. Being labelled as selfish by those people who can’t manipulate you or use you is very common. Skipping a night out, party or a family get together to spend some time with yourself is better than pretending to enjoy an event or the company of some people. 

Your Will Leave Toxic Relationships, People and Places 

Self-love will make you leave anything that dims your light whether they are friends, loved ones, spouse or family members. I can assure you that it won’t be easy because it will somehow make you feel isolated and you might get the urge to seek validation from the same people who are not good for you. But with the time you will start loving yourself, will be happier and kinder. You will be more open to others, whereas earlier you were in the bubble of your comfort zone, you will start being open to new people, experiences and places. 

Self Love Will Make You Believe in Yourself, You Will Pursue Passions That Will Inspire Others 

When you start loving yourself, you will not accept anything less than what you think you deserve. You will be more confident and start having faith in your capabilities, and this will lead you to follow your heart and pursue passions that lighten up your soul. When you completely accept yourself as you are, you will be able to share those passions with the world and inspire others. The more you start believing in yourself, the more open you will become to understanding other people’s passion and support them. 


I Starved Myself to Lose Weight & Why You Shouldn’t

Its a long back story when I was in the second year of college. Though I was in a women’s college, the kind of fun we had was quite thrilling. I have been a very shy girl, reserved and afraid of being judged. So, I never dealt with a lot of men in my life. From having a girls gang in school to ending up in a women’s college, being around men was quite uncomfortable for me. I never knew about the right and wrong, what’s acceptable and what’s not and the list goes on.

A lot of people suggest me to lose weight, and they have always been like that whether they were family friends, neighbors or men I wouldn’t even interact with, and it had a significant impact on my self-esteem and worth. It took years for me to admire my own body, love the curves and not take anyone’s opinion too personally.

There was a time during my college when I lost 8 kgs in 3 months, and the reason I gave others was my goa trip. I wanted to have a beach body, but deep inside, it was my insecurity of looking like a fat ball in shorts. The second reason was my break up, only to find out that the guy was cheating on me. This made me more insecure, self-conscious, less worthy and everything you could ever imagine. People don’t have an idea of how betrayal feels like, especially when you have known them for a decade.

I started hitting off the gym whenever I could, thankfully, I was blessed with a gym in my college. Every time I got some free time, I would run to the gym, whereas my diet included juice, paper dosa and brown bread. Days passed by, and I finally started losing weight after working out for like 3 hours in a day, a little boost of self-confidence – ahh such a lovely feeling. Months passed by, and the weight became constant, it was 62, and it was stuck at that. So, I finally went to goa, had a fantastic time but after getting back, I had to give up the gym because of exams. Even though I continued to walk one hour a day, but with a proper Indian diet, my weight suddenly bounced back with three times more speed. It triggered my anxiety, and again people started saying “YOU’VE PUT ON WEIGHT” okay as if I don’t know it. Then after months and years, I just started backfiring at them, now if they would say something my response would be and HOW IT’S THE MATTER OF YOUR CONCERN? Thankfully, this worked, and now nobody says that shit to me. But it taught me a lesson, why earlier those people were able to affect me with their opinions and words was because I felt unworthy, did not love myself, had no confidence. But as I grew like an independent girl, had the confidence to speak up and courage to tell them how my body was none of their business.

When you don’t love yourself, the whole world will make you feel unloved, but when you fall in love with the person you see in the mirror every day, the universe will send that love back to you.

3 New Year Resolutions that You Can Actually Keep

With each year we lose 365 days, 12 months and don’t know how many minutes from our lives, and yet we celebrate it. So, again a year has passed by, and some of us are still on the same page that we were last year, or took a few steps towards where we want to be.

Each year we make resolutions, some stick to them and leave them for the next year. Frankly, I never made a New Year’s resolution because I made many and could not keep them that kind of left regrets in my heart and many among us are not good at keeping resolutions. But that does not mean we don’t even try, what about making some small resolutions that we will be able to keep which will further push us for achieving the bigger ones? This year let’s come together and make some little resolutions that will have a significant impact on our lives.

Be a little more patient with yourself and others.

A wise person is very patient, according to Buddha with patience and persistence, you’re bound to be successful. But how many among us do actually have it? In this busy and fast-paced world, we want everything very quickly whether it’s trending fashion clothing, next partner, job or success.

Sometimes to have those things we may get very impatient with ourselves and others that lead to getting upset over little things, cranky mood and taking out your regrets or miseries on others. This could turn into a cycle, and you may observe that people have started avoiding you. But we all get everything at the right time, when we are ready, so we have to learn to be patient with life, situations, people and continue to do our best.

Believe in Yourself

Do you believe in the law of attraction? Some might and some may not, but we have the power and potential to get what we want. Sometimes the entire cause of our failures are our lack of faith in ourselves and doubting our potential. Whereas we should keep congratulating us on the little progress we make each day, as they say, we should focus on moving forward – run, walk or crawl but don’t stay in the same place.

The main problem is that many people have a black and white attitude if they fail – they don’t try again. But without seeing dark days, how would you know the value of sunshine? If you aimed to lose 10 kg weight in 2 months, but you only lost 5, don’t beat yourself up. Just celebrate your progress, go out and celebrate it.

Stop Overthinking & Start Doing

Have you ever imagined, how much time we lose by just thinking about something? We are always waiting for the right time or moment, whether it is asking that person you have been thinking about, start working on a new project or giving more time to your family. We are always thinking about them without taking any concrete actions, what if we replaced every thought with an action? In the end, you will probably not regret the chances you did not take and taking action towards your goal will surely take you further.
Here’s a link to the best self-help book in the world, if you fail to take action – this book will surely inspire you with its thoughtfulness and knowledge. But make sure to not only learn the lessons but apply them into your real life. I have read it, and it kind of inspired me to start my blog.