Self Love Isn’t Selfish & Why You Should Not Feel Guilty About It

My whole life, I have always been too kind to people who deliberately put me down. Continued to criticize me for who I was and how I should be a certain way, how they got offended when I refused to put up with their shit and how I would call them out on their bullshit. 

Have you ever been in a place, situation with people who would always invalidate your feelings? Tell you how you should behave or feel and continuously try to degrade your moral. I know it feels hurt, broken, and like nobody understands you, and we strive to live by How other people perceive our choices and reality. 

But you know one thing? The urge to get understood completely disappears when you know yourself. Because nobody is walking down in your shoes or living your reality, so their opinion doesn’t matter. 

The First Step to Self Love Is Setting Boundaries 

Boundaries are essential, and you should set them with your family members, friends or loved ones. They are more about how much leverage you are ready to give to others to interfere in your life. Because something your family loved ones or friends would try to control you and want you to act in a way or do things that they want. But by setting boundaries, you tell them what and what isn’t allowed in terms of behavior, actions or the degree of interference in your life. 

After You Set Boundaries, Some People Will Label You As Selfish 

It is completely okay, relax. This had happened with me when I stopped taking bullshit from others when you take a stand for yourself for the sake of your mental and emotional health. Being labelled as selfish by those people who can’t manipulate you or use you is very common. Skipping a night out, party or a family get together to spend some time with yourself is better than pretending to enjoy an event or the company of some people. 

Your Will Leave Toxic Relationships, People and Places 

Self-love will make you leave anything that dims your light whether they are friends, loved ones, spouse or family members. I can assure you that it won’t be easy because it will somehow make you feel isolated and you might get the urge to seek validation from the same people who are not good for you. But with the time you will start loving yourself, will be happier and kinder. You will be more open to others, whereas earlier you were in the bubble of your comfort zone, you will start being open to new people, experiences and places. 

Self Love Will Make You Believe in Yourself, You Will Pursue Passions That Will Inspire Others 

When you start loving yourself, you will not accept anything less than what you think you deserve. You will be more confident and start having faith in your capabilities, and this will lead you to follow your heart and pursue passions that lighten up your soul. When you completely accept yourself as you are, you will be able to share those passions with the world and inspire others. The more you start believing in yourself, the more open you will become to understanding other people’s passion and support them.