Self Love Isn’t Selfish & Why You Should Not Feel Guilty About It

My whole life, I have always been too kind to people who deliberately put me down. Continued to criticize me for who I was and how I should be a certain way, how they got offended when I refused to put up with their shit and how I would call them out on their bullshit. 

Have you ever been in a place, situation with people who would always invalidate your feelings? Tell you how you should behave or feel and continuously try to degrade your moral. I know it feels hurt, broken, and like nobody understands you, and we strive to live by How other people perceive our choices and reality. 

But you know one thing? The urge to get understood completely disappears when you know yourself. Because nobody is walking down in your shoes or living your reality, so their opinion doesn’t matter. 

The First Step to Self Love Is Setting Boundaries 

Boundaries are essential, and you should set them with your family members, friends or loved ones. They are more about how much leverage you are ready to give to others to interfere in your life. Because something your family loved ones or friends would try to control you and want you to act in a way or do things that they want. But by setting boundaries, you tell them what and what isn’t allowed in terms of behavior, actions or the degree of interference in your life. 

After You Set Boundaries, Some People Will Label You As Selfish 

It is completely okay, relax. This had happened with me when I stopped taking bullshit from others when you take a stand for yourself for the sake of your mental and emotional health. Being labelled as selfish by those people who can’t manipulate you or use you is very common. Skipping a night out, party or a family get together to spend some time with yourself is better than pretending to enjoy an event or the company of some people. 

Your Will Leave Toxic Relationships, People and Places 

Self-love will make you leave anything that dims your light whether they are friends, loved ones, spouse or family members. I can assure you that it won’t be easy because it will somehow make you feel isolated and you might get the urge to seek validation from the same people who are not good for you. But with the time you will start loving yourself, will be happier and kinder. You will be more open to others, whereas earlier you were in the bubble of your comfort zone, you will start being open to new people, experiences and places. 

Self Love Will Make You Believe in Yourself, You Will Pursue Passions That Will Inspire Others 

When you start loving yourself, you will not accept anything less than what you think you deserve. You will be more confident and start having faith in your capabilities, and this will lead you to follow your heart and pursue passions that lighten up your soul. When you completely accept yourself as you are, you will be able to share those passions with the world and inspire others. The more you start believing in yourself, the more open you will become to understanding other people’s passion and support them. 

 

How DIYs Can Help You Become A Better Person!

I am a creative person and can end up scrolling those cute DIYs on Pinterest. Apart from scrolling through, I love experimenting and creating my DIYs of anything. But the most amazing thing I realized was while I was helping my sister in making DIY dream catchers. It took us 3-4 hours in crafting one, which started from spinning wool on the ring and then forming an intricate pattern inside. And then after every half an hour, I would look at my sister saying, okay, how much more time it’s going to take?

Enough about the process, let’s get to the core idea behind this blog. What are the two fundamental essentials for success? What I learned during my meditation course were Patience & Persistence and the DIY dream catcher making reminded me about that. Here’s what I discovered after investing a lot of time in DIYs.

Makes Your Brain Sharp & Enhances Concentration Power

Let’s face it; we all have a hard time when it comes to concentrating on one thing. We’re distracted easily, and even the wall appears to be very interesting at those times. Indulging in a DIY activity helps in balancing your body with the mind. Where you need to continually focus and watch your movements to complete that goal, this is a sort of artistic training that helps you in building up concentration power and sharpen your brain. Practice makes a man perfect!

Increases Your Patience Level

Ever landed in a situation where you should have been a little patient but ended up bursting out on a small thing? Yes, we all have been there. I was very impatient, and DIYs will surely teach you all the lessons. You will spend hours trying to perfect one thing, and sometimes you will screw it up just like we screw up something in real life but the excitement and persistence to finish that goal will surely push you to your limits. Just like hard times prepare us for future pursuits, the initial grind of failing in DIYs is just the same. In the end, you have a beautiful thing created by you.

Teaches You The Value of Things

During my school days, we had to do our projects, whether they were complex related to science or creative. But with time, the scenario has changed and now you can buy anything from ready-made paper crafts to gift wraps and hand made cards. And I am sure many among us have probably said the word, why waste time “WE CAN BUY IT”, but what we don’t realize is how instead of giving value to the hard work we measure it with money. Making your things will surely make you understand the hard work that people put into making handcrafted things.

I hope you could relate to this blog and would suggest you to definitely get indulged in any DIY activity. If you liked it, please share it on your social media channels, leave a comment and yes SUBSCRIBE to my Newsletter for more amazing blogs. Sending good vibes 🙂

I Starved Myself to Lose Weight & Why You Shouldn’t

Its a long back story when I was in the second year of college. Though I was in a women’s college, the kind of fun we had was quite thrilling. I have been a very shy girl, reserved and afraid of being judged. So, I never dealt with a lot of men in my life. From having a girls gang in school to ending up in a women’s college, being around men was quite uncomfortable for me. I never knew about the right and wrong, what’s acceptable and what’s not and the list goes on.

A lot of people suggest me to lose weight, and they have always been like that whether they were family friends, neighbors or men I wouldn’t even interact with, and it had a significant impact on my self-esteem and worth. It took years for me to admire my own body, love the curves and not take anyone’s opinion too personally.

There was a time during my college when I lost 8 kgs in 3 months, and the reason I gave others was my goa trip. I wanted to have a beach body, but deep inside, it was my insecurity of looking like a fat ball in shorts. The second reason was my break up, only to find out that the guy was cheating on me. This made me more insecure, self-conscious, less worthy and everything you could ever imagine. People don’t have an idea of how betrayal feels like, especially when you have known them for a decade.

I started hitting off the gym whenever I could, thankfully, I was blessed with a gym in my college. Every time I got some free time, I would run to the gym, whereas my diet included juice, paper dosa and brown bread. Days passed by, and I finally started losing weight after working out for like 3 hours in a day, a little boost of self-confidence – ahh such a lovely feeling. Months passed by, and the weight became constant, it was 62, and it was stuck at that. So, I finally went to goa, had a fantastic time but after getting back, I had to give up the gym because of exams. Even though I continued to walk one hour a day, but with a proper Indian diet, my weight suddenly bounced back with three times more speed. It triggered my anxiety, and again people started saying “YOU’VE PUT ON WEIGHT” okay as if I don’t know it. Then after months and years, I just started backfiring at them, now if they would say something my response would be and HOW IT’S THE MATTER OF YOUR CONCERN? Thankfully, this worked, and now nobody says that shit to me. But it taught me a lesson, why earlier those people were able to affect me with their opinions and words was because I felt unworthy, did not love myself, had no confidence. But as I grew like an independent girl, had the confidence to speak up and courage to tell them how my body was none of their business.

When you don’t love yourself, the whole world will make you feel unloved, but when you fall in love with the person you see in the mirror every day, the universe will send that love back to you.